You know that feeling you get when everything is wrong but you have to put on a smile for the moment? It’s like a pressure in your chest, a thumping pulse in your head like you’re a ticking time bomb about to explode. Your cheeks get so tired of holding your lips up. You start to feel like you can’t breathe. Your throat starts to close up and you can feel the tears forming in the corners of your eyes but you politely clear your throat and blink the tears back, knowing if you broke down right here people would ask questions, then you would have to explain to them what only you understand leaving them with confused faces and your tongues stuttering. So, it’s better to deal with the pressure and thumping then when you are alone you can hush the pulse with tears and it becomes a little easier.